Arriving a day late in Switzerland - the time keeping capital of the world - felt appropriately ironic. It wasn’t our fault, of course, it was the French, who were indulging in their national pastime of striking. A row over pensions had brought the country to a standstill, including the airspace above it. Apparently, you can’t just fly around France to get to Switzerland, you have to fly over it. Fair enough. I’m no pilot, so I won’t argue.
Fast forward 36 hours and I’m woken suddenly in a Montreux hotel room at 7am by children who were bouncing a small elephant around the walls of the room next door. Or at least that’s how it sounded to me. I banged the wall sharply. Then I heard Dad’s voice.
“C’est Père Noel!” (It’s Father Christmas!) The kids hit warp drive excitement of Santa proximity and proceeded to try to communicate with me with coded wall-knocking. Sue glared at me, with a look that said “this house believes” and that if I didn't play along, I would ruin Christmas for two small children. I got up eventually, plotting revenge on Dad in the breakfast room over Swiss cheese.
Cheesed off
Swiss cheese is everywhere. Unsurprising, for Switzerland, I know. They
have it sliced for breakfast, in sandwiches for lunch then melted for dinner in
the evening. I got a bit fed up with it after a fondue and a raclette (another
melted cheese offering) to be honest.
In search of a break, we shamefully head for Mc Donald’s. On googling
Switzerland McDonalds I’d spotted an article from Business Insider (Feb 2019,
Graham Flanagan) about the Big Mac index, which uses the prices of Big Macs in
various countries as a guide to cost of living. Switzerland was number one in
the charts - with the most expensive Big Mac in the world.
But don’t think you can escape the cheese just by going to McDonalds.
The headline products in Switzerland McDonalds are the McRaclette and the
McRaclette Bacon. More cheese.
Mercury Montreux
A short train ride from Geneva airport brings you to the pretty lakeside
town of Montreux, famous for its jazz festival, vibrant Christmas
market and being the inspiration for the song “Smoke on the Water.”
The town was the adopted working home of Queen and Freddie Mercury who
are omnipresent there. As well as a statue of Freddie on the waterside there is
also the recording studio, where visitors gets chance to remix a Queen track,
under the guidance of Queen guitarist Bryan May - by video.
“Just don’t make the
drums too loud. Nobody likes a loud drummer!” I can’t help but think that this
was a wry jibe at fellow band member and drummer, Roger Taylor. Or perhaps it
was a message to all drummers.
Grey Geneva
Don’t get me wrong, Geneva city is fine. It’s probably a hoot if you
love banking and watches whose illuminated logos penetrated the grey day we
spent there.
The Rolex logo can't have changed in years and if you didn't know different you might think that it was a low-end brand of 1970s timepieces rather than a successful company.
The two main attractions in the city are an impressively large water spout in the lake and a flower clock, which looked as if it belonged in a small British seaside town.
Geneva and it’s other lakeside counterparts - as a whole ooze wealth, if not personality. They seem fascinated with eccentricity like Queen, but happy to import it rather than create it. However, the lake is quite a sight, with its castle, vast expense of water and backdrop of the alps. The famous train rides afford often amazing views of the lake as do the paths along the shoreline.
So go (our flights were £9.50!) - travel by train, take it in and get a room with a view. Then grab yourself a bit of cheese, pitch up on your balcony, open a bottle of wine and enjoy the spectacular scenery that Lake Geneva has to offer.
It’s a kinda magic - as Queen would say.
